Brooke the queen of fall and everything pumpkin spice, was
laying in bed one hot Oklahoma morning rolling over and checking her phone to
open it to the first post that was there.
OMG! OMG! OMG!
Were the sounds you heard down the hallway as Brooke took
off from her bedroom to wake everyone up in the house to tell them of the news
she saw. Steven one of the roommates came out of his room trying to figure out
what happening, making sure that the house was still standing.
All Brooke said as she passed Steven’s bedroom was, “we have
to leave now, no time to discuss just we need to leave now”. Not knowing what
is going on and just having the hype of seeing someone run down the hallway and
screaming that we must go, the only thing you know to do is follow in pursuit.
There was one other person that was in the house and her
name was Karen, Karen was in the living room sitting with the dogs when all the
started to go down. Brooke and Steven come running into the living room and
Brooke grabs Karen by the arms and says, “we have to go and don’t ask any questions
we just have to go”. Steven and Karen run after Brooke as she gets into her car
and has it in reverse before the other even had time to open their doors to get
in.
Steven and Karen got into the car and Brooke took off down
the road as fast as she could, even almost taking off the bottom of her car by
hitting the speed humps in the neighborhood at full speed. Steven and Karen hit
the roof of the car since they didn’t have any time to put their seat belts on.
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| Latte Art taken from Pixabay |
Brooke makes a turn onto a street that Steven and Karen are
all to familiar with, the road that leads to the coffee shop that all millennial's
know all to well. Steven and Karen looked at each other in complete confusion, “Brooke
why the heck did you come barreling out of the room just because you wanted Starbucks”.
There was no response from Brooke to Karen and Stevens comment just a hard
stomp on the brakes making Karen slam into the dashboard of the car.
Brooke took off out the car and running into Starbucks with Steven
and Karen in tow. Only to get into the store and find Brooke standing in the
corner shaking with sadness. Karen walks up to Brooke and asks, “what is wrong
with and why are you about to cry”, Brooke says “because I saw a picture of the
new fall cup on Facebook and wanted to get here before they sell out”. Karen and
Steven look around and can’t find a new cup anywhere in the store.
One of the Starbucks workers walks up to Brooke and says, “the
new cup won’t be released for sell until tomorrow”. Karen and Steven just look
at her with eyes that just fill Brooke full of guilt. Steven walks over to
Brooke, “Brooke you owe me the biggest iced coffee they have for dragging me
out of the house for nothing”.
Karen standing in line with Brooke as she orders us all
coffee for dragging us all out of the house for nothing, looks at her over her
glasses as an old wise grandma and says, “how many times do I have to tell you not
everything on Facebook is the truth”.
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| The logo we all know taken from Flickr |
Authors Note: For this week’s story I used, “The Foolish, Timid
Rabbit” to rewrite into my own story. I used this story because it was the one
that really stuck to me because I related it to the story about Chicken Little.
I thought about rewriting this story using chickens but thought that wouldn’t
be to original. This story just goes to show in today’s world how we take information
that is right in front of us and not fact check it. Also, it shows that in the
heat of the moment we just follow what everyone else is doing without stopping
and thinking about it.
Bibliography: “The Foolish, Timid Rabbit” from Jataka Tales
by Ellen C. Babbitt, Web Source.
Hi Tyler, I liked your story. I also based my story on "The Foolish, Timid Rabbit", but took it in a much different direction than yours. I really liked that story and I too immediately thought of Chicken Little when I read it. I enjoyed the story and thought it was very relevant to today's world. So many millennials love Starbucks. I personally have never been a fan of coffee and caffeine makes me jittery, but I don't judge people who love it. One of my favorite parts to your story was the part when Karen tells Brooke about how not everything on Facebook is true. I relate to that so much, my dad is addicted to Facebook and oftentimes he sees posts on there as fact when many times it's not. You have to be willing to dig a bit deeper and fact-check.
ReplyDeleteHi Tyler, I have to say, when I first read through the story I didn't understand the relevance to India. However, I had forgot about, "The Foolish, Timid Rabbit" story and rereading your story let me see the underlying theme developed in a uniquely clever way! When I first read the original story I also thought of Chicken Little, which I don't know how you feel, but I love the movie!
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a great job of keeping the reader interacted with the story the whole time. The build up of anticipation kept me wanting to know why the character was so anxious to leave the house. I was surprised that in end it was for a fall cup. I was kind of expecting her to be excited about the release of the pumpkin spice flavored coffee! I wonder if you could have built up the character to be known for being dramatic or unreliable in the past? What if you gave a little bit more background on the characters? Also, what if you build up the scenery as if it was starting to become fall and the seasons were changing. Overall I think you had a great original story. I found it relatable and funny because we all know someone that is too excited about fall (maybe its me).
ReplyDeleteI laughed at the Pumpkin Spice satire, very interesting theme! I also laughed when Karen said not everything on Facebook is the truth because that is just too relatable. This Jataka tale definitely stuck with me the most too because it is very prominent in our society today, especially with news outlets and social media. This story gives the same wisdom to the reader as the Jataka tale does, great story!
ReplyDeleteHaving just read your Introduction and knowing you as a coffee enthusiast, I love how you combined your own interests with inspiration from the ancient Jataka Tale in this story! How you used the onomonopia "OMG! OMG! OMG!" just after the first paragraph was such a good buzzword to hook your reader! It really fits the tone of this humorous story. Some little grammar stuff aside, this is such a perfect modern reconstruction. It maintains the message of the original, but brought into the 21st century. I love that you tell a lighter story, too. Instead of existential panic concluded with relief, the consequence of disappointment at the end derives from Brooke's feelings of excitement. You really know how to set up a scene and create pace with your word choices!
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