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The Fate of Five Friends
Friends |
In the town of Norman Ka Shivir, there were five friends;
Mia, Brooke, Rowdi, Steven, and Josh. These five friends hung out every week
just doing whatever they could pass time and have a fun time together. So, one
day the friends went on an adventure around the town on the new electric scooters
that made their mark in town. In a group of friends like these five, there is
always a few that could be questionable on how they make through the day and
still come out without hurting themselves or others and then there are some
that are noble and levelheaded that some look up to.
The friends set out the scooters to go roam the campus and
experience the new fall colors added to the gardens and the trees that were
starting to change the colors of their leaves. As stated, before some of the friends
were not to adapt to roam about on these scooters with ease and Brooke and Josh
really set the bar for this theory to become true. As the friends were making
their way across campus Brooke and Josh going as slow as they could, running
off the sidewalks and falling off the scooters at every turn that was made. While
Mia, Rowdi, and Steven were moving along with grace and coordination following next
to each other making the ride seem like a breeze, awhile Brooke and Josh are covered
in grass and scuffed up hands.
The ride finally came to end when the friends arrived at their
favorite place to be on campus corner to wind down for the night, ochonnaills.
The friends parked the scooters and made their way into the pub to sit at the
bar and relax for the night. However, there was a problem that faced them once
they arrived at the bar to sit down, the normal bartender that served them
every time they visited was no longer there and the new bartender was not going
to allow them a free seat unless they were to answer questions given to them. The
bartender made clear that no one was to sit at the bar until all questions asked
to them were answered.
As the friends approached each was given a question and as Rowdi
approached she answered and was granted a seat, Mia and Steven were next in line
and both answered correctly and were granted a seat. Next was Brooke and Josh
and both being clumsy and no regard for their surrounding proceeded to sit down
and have no regard to the warnings that were given to them. The bartender said
to them, “I warned you to not sit at the bar unless you could answer my simple questions
first.” Brooke replied, “I only want a drink not to play any games with you.” So,
the bartender turned to the big security guard sitting the corner and summoned
him over to take care of Brooke and Josh. Mia being the noblest of them all
pleaded with the bartender to give her more questions to answer for Brooke and
Josh to have a place at the bar.
The bartender being one to not cave with persuasion that all college students plead with on a nightly basis. The security guard grabbed the two friends and outside they were sent to spend the rest of the night, sitting next to the old gentleman playing the guitar while everyone else sat inside enjoying a cold one.
The yaksha and Yudhistira |
Authors Note: I am not very good this creative writing thing
and so it took me way longer than it probably should have to write 500 words to
get this short story completed. When reading the Mahabharata, the story that
really stuck out to me the most was the story of the Hundred Questions. This is
when the brothers are famished from hunting all day and need water and they
come upon a pond and are told to answer questions before they can partake in drinking
the water. One by one the brothers go to the pond to make sure it safe to drink
and each one is given the warning to not drink the water until they answer the
questions that is asked to them. However, being tired and thirsty and
disregarded the warning and drank the water and instantly fell dead. Each one of
the brothers did this until the last one, Yudhistira and he was wise enough to
see his brothers mistake and answer the questions the yaksha asked him, in return
he was granted a one wish since he was able to answer all the questions that
was asked to him. In the first line, “Norman Ka Shivir” is Hindi for Norman’s
Camp, I used this because the name for the town of Norman came from a guy named
Norman and to be funny when surveying the land for Oklahoma before the land
rush he branded “Normans Camp” into a elm tree. Then also there is another
Hindi worded used which is “ochonnaills” which is the Hinidi translations for O’Connells
which I’m sure most know is a bar on campus corner here in Norman.
Bibliography: the Mahabharata, R.K. Narayan. Book Source.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI have to say your story is very well written. I actually can’t believe you had any trouble at all. I know that happens for me sometimes after I get done with a favorite story and yet can’t seem to put it to paper. I think your retelling was well done! After reading some peoples such as yourself writing mine becomes harder. You guys do so well.
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ReplyDeleteHi Tyler! I really enjoyed your story, I based my story off of this portion of the Mahabharata as well. I think this was a creative and fun rendition of the story. I know the struggle of having a story in your head and yet struggling to put it into coherent words on paper (or in a blog post). This was well written I have only a minor suggestion for you. I would just try to go back and re-read the story, out loud to yourself. It helps catch minor mistakes. For example, in the third paragraph I think you mean O'Connell's? If you want I recommend double-checking the spelling on that. Other than that it is really great, keep up the hard work!
ReplyDeleteHey Tyler, I really enjoyed reading story! I liked how you translated Norman's Camp and O'Connells into Hindi to fit the overall theme of this class. In your author's note, I noticed you said you were not good at creative writing and saw myself in you. I honestly struggled writing my first story and it ended up being okay! Like I said before, I enjoyed your story. I liked how you gave it a little twist and incorporated Norman into your story. For future stories, I recommend reading your story out loud to catch grammatical errors!
ReplyDeleteHi Tyler, I think you are better at this creative writing thing than you give yourself credit for! You did a good job adapting the tale from the Mahabharata to modern times with a scene that's familiar to your readers. I think your translations were really creative, and you did a good job following the structure of the original story from the epic.
ReplyDeleteYou are much better at creative writing than you think! Who else could have combined Campus Corner with Indian mythology? I read this one after your week 9 story, so that one makes more sense to me now. I like the story in general, but I really like the research that you put into translating the names into Hindi. It was a nice nod to Norman culture and it worked well.
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